


Finding the Horizon

by El_Tigre_deBengala



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, F/M, Fighter Pilots, Non-Canon Relationship, Sith, Smut, The Dark Side of the Force
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-05-31 11:55:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6469183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/El_Tigre_deBengala/pseuds/El_Tigre_deBengala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of meeting Finn on Jakku, Rey instead runs headlong into a delirious Poe Dameron after his crash in the desert. She cares for the injured pilot in her small home until the menacing Kylo Ren arrives to capture the man with the map to Luke Skywalker. Poe and Rey are thrown into a whirlwind of adventure trying to outrun the First Order.<br/>Finn crashlands miles from the broken Tie-Fighter and makes his way toward civilization with the help of BB-8.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Encounter With the Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to keep the characters as close to canon as possible. Let me know what you think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, right off the bat, this is a canon-divergence. The "divergence" happens right after Finn and Poe escape the Finalizer. Canon characters will stay in character, but there will be the addition of some original characters which will be introduced throughout the story. O H Y E A.

"Finn!" Poe reaches over the twisted seat of the wrecked ship, frantically searching for his friend, but an explosion in the engine throws him forward through the open cockpit. His pants are caught on a jagged piece of the pilot's control panel, the super-heated plastic and glass branding the side of his thigh as he wrestles himself free. "Finn, buddy, if you can hear me," he sucks in a breath thick with exhaust and his throat seizes up. 

He climbs from the crashed Tie-Fighter, the machine's ruined hull groaning at the loss of his weight. It's a short jump to ground then the smoke is filling his lungs and eyes. He stumbles a few feet before collapsing onto the hot sand- tears already pooling and clouding his vision of the sinking ship in front of him. "Finn," he moans as the desert slowly begins to swallow the remains of the starfighter. It looks to be midday, the planet's sun sending it's irradiated light heavy over the landscape surrounding him.

Poe punches the sand in front of him once, then twice, then three times- angry that he let this happen. He'd never lost control of a ship like that before, not even as a kid. His heart is hammering in his chest, his breathing painfully shallow, as he lets the images of the crash consume him. "Buddy," he whispers, "I'm so--"  He pulls his knees to his chest and sways back and forth, willing his signature levelheadedness to come and rescue him from the gruesome images flashing behind his half-blind eyes. His arms are bare, Poe can't remember when he lost his jacket, but the angry red cuts and burns speckling his biceps and forearms suggest it's been awhile. Poe reminds himself that it was his  _mission_ to retrieve BB-8 and the map from Jakku, he couldn't abandon his _mission_. It's a weak attempt at calming the guilt that threatens to suffocate what little air he's still able to hold in his tattered chest. The more he replays the word in his head the less meaning it has. Was his mission worth the life of the bravest stormtrooper he'd ever met? The whir of an approaching ship stirs Poe into action, and he curses himself for letting his thoughts wander so dramatically. He has to peel his bloody arms one by one from where they've glued themselves to his pants legs. With a lingering look at the Tie-fighter, already buried up to the hole he escaped from earlier, he pulls himself off the ground and limps over the crest of a nearby dune to give himself some cover while he catches his breath. Poe doubts the ship is a  _friendly_ but his aching muscles urge him to gather as much strength as he can before making his escape.

The blazing-red First Order insignia is unmistakable as the patrol ship appears above the hazy horizon. It seems to materialize out of thin air, but Poe isn't sure whether or not his swollen eyes are to blame for the phenomenon. The First Order ship's engines kick sand up like a storm as it comes to land near the crash site with a gentle thud. Poe sinks into a crouch, only the top of his head visible above the sandy hill and forces himself to use this opportunity to gather intelligence on the enemy- an exercise he's utilized in the past to calm his nerves. There looks to only be one patrol ship deployed at the moment- he scans the sky as best he can despite the glare of the star above him- that means six, eight enemies at the most that can fit in such a small vessel. Poe watches as the hatch door releases with a hiss- he should be preparing himself to run but even the thought of standing sends a sick feeling to his stomach.

Six stormtroopers emerge from the ship and march in a tight formation to surround their stolen Tie-Fighter, blasters at the ready- he counts them as the line up. Six is better than he expected, even as worn out as he is, he can still outrun a stormtrooper in the sand. Poe is about to make his escape when a familiar figure steps into view, distracting him momentarily. He recognizes the commander that captured him in the village the day before, her metallic armor shining absurdly bright in the midday sun. There's something uniquely unsettling about the towering woman, like she might actually be a robot underneath all of those layers.  He watches as she makes a wide sweeping motion with her hand and the troopers pair off and begin to fan out, the Tie-Fighter serving as a central point for their perimeter check. Poe jumps from his perch before they can get close to him and starts to run, swearing through the whole-body pain that threatens to crumple him right back to the ground.

Unsurprisingly he's able to put a lot of distance between himself and the stormtroopers, he imagines them floundering through the unforgiving terrain with those embarrassing suits. The next time Poe dares a look behind him, the patrol ship is completely hidden from his view, and there doesn't seem to be any sign he's being followed. His right leg gives out beneath him and the adrenaline that's been fueling the pilot's escape thus far begins to wane- Poe is feeling the extent of his injuries. He's able to stay upright and pushes forward despite the pain, knowing that if he's captured a second time he'll surely be killed. Poe's thoughts flit briefly to his conversation with the Sith. The man had reached so deeply into Poe's memories, like picking through a holo-book, there's no telling how far his power extends beyond that.

Hours pass before he see's his first sign of civilization: a metal sign with words written in the native language of Jakku sticking cockeyed in a mound of dried dirt. An arrow carved into the sign points in the direction that Poe has already been traveling. Poe doesn't know what the words mean, but tears spring to his eyes as he realizes he might still make it out of this hellish desert. "Get it together, Dameron," he mumbles, watching the scorching sun dip lower in the sky. It's too early to let himself hope.

By the time the sun disappears below the sand dunes, Poe's progress starts to slow and he's barely able to keep himself standing. His throat is aching without water, his tongue thick and dry in his mouth, and the world around him begins to spin. He fights the dizziness for as long as he can, still stumbling in the direction that the sign had been pointing towards, but eventually the pilot's knees buckle beneath him and he falls to his back, knocking the dry air from his lungs with a wheeze.

The breeze brushing against his skin is cooling rapidly without the heat of the sun but the sand beneath him is warm enough to keep him somewhat comfortable. Without his jacket he knows he'll probably freeze in the cold night air but he doesn't have the stamina to find himself any kind of shelter. "Ha, freeze to death in the desert." He chokes the words out through pained laughter, his voice sounding too loud in his ears. If only his friends could see him now- they'd probably tease him for getting his ass captured in the first place. He lets out another shaky breath before the exhaustion begins to pull him under. Through half shut eyes Poe watches the stars twinkle above him and imagines himself climbing into his X-Wing, BB-8 nestled firmly in the nose of the ship, and flying forever into space.

***

A sharp, searing pain cuts through Poe's side as he's ripped from sleep- he sits up fast and knocks his head against something hard, the sudden rush of blood making his vision swim. He passes out again.

***

An insistent tap on his shoulder pulls him back to reality an unknown time later. When he opens his eyes he sees a masked creature looming over him, tan robes and goggles shrouding every inch of skin. He scrambles to a seated position and scoots himself backwards, putting some distance between himself and the stranger.

"What do you want?" he croaks, each word requiring a great deal of effort to pass through his chapped lips. The stranger is still crouched a few feet away and cocks their head to the side at the sound of his voice. "Are you with the First Order?" his voice comes out clearer and a little more authoritative this time.

The stranger shakes their head slowly before standing to full height and jogging away from him, disappearing over the edge of a large dune to their left. "Okay, good talk," he mutters running his hands over his face to wipe away some of the bleariness. The sun has risen back over the horizon and he congratulates himself for surviving the night. Poe inspects his visible injuries, still too much of a pussy to check under his blood-soaked t-shirt: His arms look better than expected, most of the cuts already dried shut, and the burn on his leg from crawling from the ship looks... Okay. Poe pokes at the tender flesh that peeks through the hole in the side of his pants with a careful finger. 

A few moments later the stranger returns- interrupting Poe's self-examination- hauling a flat sheet of metal behind them, like the side panel of some kind of speeder-bike. Poe shoots a questioning look in the strangers direction, hoping they aren't planning on beating him to death with the scrap. His companion drops the metal near the edge of some kind of drop-off to their right then walks back over to where Poe is still seated in the sand. They crouch beside him and move a small hand- a _human_ hand- to the edge of his tattered white shirt. He lets out a weakly distressed noise as his shirt is lifted up to rest below his armpits. Poe tries to scoot farther away, being sexually assaulted by a stranger was not on his short list of objectives for the day which included: not dying, finding a com-link, and getting something to drink. Not necessarily in that order.  
  
"Whoa there Buddy, at least buy me a drink first," Poe jokes, panic creeping into his voice. He tries to pull his shirt back down but a hand slaps his away.

He settles back onto his elbows, too weak to protest any further, and lets the figure prod at his stomach- his mind whirling with possible escape plans. The same pain that woke him earlier shoots up his side and he cringes away, gasping out the breath he'd been holding. The stranger sits back on their heels and shakes their head again.

"See anything you like," he asks, his voice edged with something like barely-contained hysteria. When the figure's arms raise he flinches, expecting to be struck, maybe even knocked unconscious again, but they're only reaching to remove the goggles and cloth that conceals their face. Poe admits he's curious to get a better look at the guy, but when the wrappings are removed his mind goes blank.

"I'm dead aren't I," Poe breathes as the hazel eyes of a beautiful woman meet his own for the first time. She's young, maybe in her early twenties and her face is set in a tight and determined frown. Poe knows he's staring wide-eyed like a teenage boy, but he's too tired to try and be polite. 

"You were in a Tie-Fighter crash?" The girl's curt tone cuts through his daze, her unusual accent catching him off guard-an accent he'd only heard among the high-ranking officers and influential men and women of the First Order. It takes him a few moments to process her question. 

"Who told you that," he bites, expecting a surprise appearance from the glittering stormtrooper captain herself. When she doesn't answer right away, Poe's stomach drops, and he whips his head around to look for some kind of unseen enemy. Maybe the First Order had already put a bounty on his head. This girl doesn't look like a bounty hunter though, her face lacks the hard lines that kind of work leaves behind.

"You have part of a Tie-Fighter control panel lodged in your side," the girl says, her brows furrowing farther in concern, "Hadn't you noticed?" Was she actually making a joke? Poe cranes his neck forward and inspects his exposed abdomen for the first time since the crash: dried blood conceals most of his wounds but a shiny shard of the control panel is still visible above his bruised skin.

"Meh, I've been in worse shape," Poe says, attempting to sound casual as he pulls his shirt back down. His injuries were even worse than he had imagined, he figures it's best to change the subject to something other than his growing mortality rate. "Do you have water?" The girl shakes her head slowly and shifts so she's side by side with him.

"I have to bring you to the outpost." She puts an arm across his back and grabs his hand with her free one, hoisting Poe up, little by little, until he's able to stand on shaky legs. His muscles are unimaginably tight and he doesn't think he has any feeling in his left forearm, but the fact he can walk is a welcome relief. She leads him over to the sheet of metal she dragged over earlier and sets him down on top of it. The surface is blisteringly hot against his ass but his mind is too hazy to complain. The girl sits gently behind him, the metal just long enough for them both to sit comfortably if they squeeze, and wraps her arms tight around his chest, carefully avoiding the wound in his side. 

"We need to work on your social skills," Poe calls behind him as the girl begins to push them forward towards the lip of the drop-off with her feet. He thinks he feels her laugh against him as the sled tips over the edge. Poe realizes that the small hill he imagined is really more of a mountain of sand.

"Hold on," the girl's voice is hot against his ear and he can't help but whoop in excitement as they plummet down the slope, the wind whipping debris and hair against his face. The sand gives way like an avalanche of snow, propelling them even faster down. Poe lets himself enjoy this unexpected fun fully, the shadow of his impending death heavy on his shoulders, and a smile spreads wide across his sun-burnt cheeks.The feeling of speed is so familiar to the pilot that he doesn't ever want the ride to end. The sled, however, comes to a halt a only a few moments later. 

"That was pretty awesome," he says, glancing over his shoulder at the girl behind him. She gives him a small smile to mirror his own as she peels her arms away from his sticky shirt and stands, reaching down to help him up.

"It's definitely the fastest--" She tenses and looks back up the mountain, eyes narrowing before she pushes Poe sideways off of the sled and into the sand. She covers his body with the sheet of metal and sweeps sand up around him to cover the gaps. The ground shakes beneath him and the sound of a ship's engine sounds from somewhere up above them. Poe holds his breath, waiting to be discovered, but the sound passes. The girl pulls the sled away from his shaking body and brushes him off. He can barely make out the shape of the ship as it disappears in the direction they're headed, but knows it's the same one that landed at the crash site. 

"They're headed toward town," she mumbles pulling him off the ground and bringing Poe's arm across her shoulders to support him.

He can see the outline of some kind of outpost a few miles ahead of them, a red gate clearly visible even from this distance. "Is that town?" He gestures with his good arm.

She glances sideways at him and nods, "Yea, it's only a little further," she's searching his face for something. When he doesn't say anything more, a look of understanding flashes in her eyes as she takes in Poe's worried expression. "I have a place for you to lay low until they're gone," she says in a quieter voice. 

Poe grunts in response, the pain in his side making him dizzy. The girl leads them east, away from the direction the patrol ship was headed. The glittering silhouette of the village disappears behind them after about a half hour of walking. "Where are we?" He asks, his voice hoarse. The sand beneath his feet feels thick like pudding, every step testing his severely limited energy. The girl's face is passive as she helps him over a hill, like this is her job and Poe isn't some random stranger she picked up on her way back home. 

"Just outside of Niima Outpost." Poe's relieved to hear a familiar name. He'd never been to the outpost himself, but he's heard it mentioned by a couple of the other pilots: ' _A place good enough for a shitty night's sleep and some fuel_ ' as his friend had described it. 

They walk farther into the desert- Poe wincing as his cuts and bruises are stretched and loosened- and pass through a field littered with old Imperial star ships. "That's insane," he says, noticing the massive destroyer off in the distance, "What is this place?"  

"There was a battle here, during the last war," the girl mutters beside him, "It's a graveyard." Poe swallows nervously when he sees the remains of an X-wing jutting from the sand a hundred yards away. He wonders if the pilot's still strapped into his seat, or if he somehow survived the crash. The girl leads them out of the 'graveyard' and into a sort of flat area of sand where what looks like a fallen AT-AT sits protruding awkwardly from the tan surroundings. Half of the ancient machine is buried beneath the sand like a picked-over carcass, the exposed half littered with remnants of blaster fire. They come to a halt near the base of one of its legs and the girl releases her hold on him. He isn't ready to stand on his own, however, and starts to sway on unsteady legs.

"I think I'm going to throw up," Poe announces before plopping himself to the ground. He doesn't know why she's brought him here, surely there were more convenient places to hide out for a couple of hours. 

The girl glances back at him, her mouth set in a thin line across her tanned face, then pries open a door at the base of the machine's leg. She returns to where Poe's sitting and lifts him up. He would feel bad about putting almost his full weight against her small frame, but her arm is strong across his back and she's able to hold him up without breaking a sweat. Speaking of sweat, Poe is drenched in it, so used to his air-conditioned rooms on base. She pulls him through the narrow opening and he's surprised to find it's refreshingly dark and cool and he sighs in satisfaction. The girl ushers him further down a short passageway until they come to a makeshift room- complete with a bed and dining table. She sets him gently on the bed and moves to the other side of the room to search through the junk covering the table. He's about to ask her another question when she uncovers a canteen full to the brim with milky colored water and all of the thoughts vacate his brain. He reaches for the water in desperation, earning himself an amused smile from the girl as she passes him the bottle.

Poe brings the container to his lips and hesitates- it's going to hurt like hell to drink this. He swallows hard, trying to prepare his throat and winces as the first sip of water burns as it passes over his tongue. After a few more seconds he gives up on going slow and starts chugging the water, letting it run shamelessly down his chin. The girl makes a small sound of warning and reaches out a hand to take the bottle away. He evades her attempts and drinks it all, smacking his palm against the side of the container to get every last drop. The water doesn't sit right in his stomach, less soothing than he'd hoped it would be, and he realizes that the girl was probably right to try and slow him down. She kicks a garbage pale his way and he only has a second to look at her in confusion before hurling the contents of his stomach into the bucket.

"Figured that would happen," she says, frowning as she watches him dry heave in front of her, "The water here isn't great, most visitors can't stomach it." She takes a step towards him like she wants to do something more but changes her mind and moves away from him. 

Poe groans when his spasms subside and the nausea passes, and lays down sideways across the bed. The girl is busying herself with something in the corner of the room and he takes some time to observe his surroundings. The space is small but homey, tools and scraps of metal littering every available square foot. The wall next to him is covered in tallies scraped into the metal. He runs a tentative finger over them but resists the urge to ask any inappropriate questions. The sunlight that streams through gaps in the walls illuminates the screen on some sort of computer in the corner that looks like it's been ripped from the control room of a ship. He sits up on his elbows to get a better look at it. 

"What's your name?" the girl calls from across the room, her back turned to him. She's stirring something in a bowl, Poe hopes it's food. 

"It's Poe, Poe Dameron," he says as she turns towards him, a small loaf of bread in her hand, "What's yours?" The girl pulls a chair from the table to the edge of the bed and takes a seat. Poe's stomach growls loudly when she rips the bread in half. 

She hands him one of the halves and waits for him to take a bite. He eats the bread slowly, giving his stomach time to adjust to the fullness, happy to find that his throat is less raw after drinking the water. When he finishes she hands him the second half and begins to unravel one of the wrappings that cover both of her arms. He eats this half faster than the first, confident in his ability to keep it all down.

"We're going to have to take the glass out of your side before it gets infected," she says, rolling the removed wrapping and setting it beside him on the bed. 

He nods and sits forward so he can pull his shirt up over his head and assess the wound lightly with his fingertips. It isn't bleeding and the skin around the shard has sealed it in like it's a new body part. He can't help thinking it might be better to leave it lodged in his side until he's able to get real medical attention. As long as he can get in contact with the Resistance by morning, he should be able to survive the trip back to base. Poe watches the girl grab a pair of pliers from the table and winces when she ignites a torch. She's using the flame to sterilize the blade- as if that would make a difference, he knows he'll get an infection the moment the wound is exposed again. She moves to his side, the pliers in her hand glowing pink with heat.

"Hey, uh Doc, on second thought-- I think I'd like to postpone this surgery until I'm back home," he laughs nervously. She puts a hand on his shoulder and leans him back against the bed.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think this can wait," she says, positioning herself over top of him, "This isn't the first time I've done this, you know." Poe wants to ask how many times she _has_ performed emergency surgery but he's cut short as she rips the shard from his side in one quick motion. He screams in pain, writhing under her as she presses a palm flat against the wound to stop the bleeding. 

"Stop moving so much," she scolds, "you'll only make it worse." He stills, biting a hole through his bottom lip to keep from crying out again. She sits him up and moves his hand to replace her own on his abdomen and grabs the wrapping from her arm still on the bed beside him. She wraps it tight around him once and he slides his hand out from beneath the fabric so she can continue. The fabric is tight enough that the bleeding slows and he slumps forward so his elbows rest on his knees when she's finished. 

"Are you insane?" His voice is shaky and he throws up into the bucket on the floor before he's able to continue his rant. She rubs his back in nervous circles before seeming to think better of it and sits down in the chair again. 

"My name is Rey."

"What?" Poe's ears are ringing as he slowly lowers himself back down on the bed. 

"My name, it's Rey. You asked--" 

"Pleasure to meet you."

 


	2. Who Talks First?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey cares for Poe the best that she can with her limited supplies but his condition threatens to deteriorate.  
> Meanwhile, a very dehydrated Finn runs into BB-8 who leads him to a nearby village.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story shifts between Poe and Finn during this chapter. I was thinking of doing a couple other perspectives but that might get a little confusing. We shall see.

Poe awakens and finds himself alone. The room is dark but he can tell that Rey has left, her gentle snoring absent from the small space. His side aches, the tattered wrapping now soaked through with his blood feels uncomfortably cold against his skin.

"Rey," his voice is a whisper, he's too weak to call out louder for the girl. Poe tries to sit up but his head spins with the effort and he lies back against the hard bed with a sigh. It would be weeks before he'd be able to fly again, days before he'd be strong enough to walk. He replays the crash in his mind, he'd been conscious through the entire event. After getting hit he had tried to stabilize the ship but once they made it through the atmosphere he panicked looking at the unfamiliar controls. His chest feels heavy when he thinks of Finn strapped to that burning Tie-Fighter, sinking into the sand. Finn had died saving his life, if Poe hadn't insisted on going back to Jakku, the ex-stormtrooper might still be alive. The pilot had lost a lot of friends, an unfortunate reality for men and women in his profession, but they had died doing what they loved the most.

"Are you crying?" Rey's voice is unexpected and Poe lets out an embarrassing noise in response. He hadn't heard her return, her footsteps eerily quiet. The girl comes to stand at his side, her silhouette barely distinguishable in the moonlight that shines through the cracks in the walls.

Poe composes himself, subtly wiping his wet cheeks with his sleeve, "No, of course not," he says, but he can see her shaking her head, "I've been trained to deal with these sorts of situations, it's you I'm worried about."

She snorts, "Me? I can take care of myself," she lifts his shirt and sucks in a quick breath, "That doesn't look good, I'll have to go to the village when the suns up and trade for some salve."

"What about the patrol ships?"

"Haven't seen one since yesterday, I think we're in the clear."  Rey switches on a small light on the floor near the bed, bathing them in dim yellow light.

"I don't want you getting in any trouble for me," Poe whispers, unsure of where the words are coming from, "The First Order doesn't take kindly to people who get in their way." Her expression shifts into something unreadable.

"They won't waste their time interrogating a scavenger girl." He catches her eye but she turns her head to look at the wall. 

Poe sits up on the bed so he's facing her. "I'll leave now and make my way to town, you've already done enough." Rey doesn't respond so he stands to prove his determination, immediately regretting the decision. The blood rushes away from his head and his legs and his wound throbs with the sudden influx of pressure. "Shit." Poe falls to his knees next to the bed, the impact sending an electrifying pain through his damaged leg. Rey rushes to squat next to him, her hands move to grip Poe's cheeks, forcing him to look at her. He tries to pull away but her eyes are intense and he can't break the connection.

"Poe, I can't get you medicine until the morning, I--" She looks scared and he wants to tell her that he'll be fine, but the reality of the situation is something he can't ignore. He's probably going to die if she doesn't help him- maybe even if she does.

"I-- I'm sorry, Rey, fuck I--" He doesn't know how he can thank her, she should have left him in the desert. Rey begins to unwrap her remaining arm band and motions for him to sit forward. His skin feels clammy and he wishes he still had his t-shirt. He wishes he still had his jacket.

"I'm going to redo the bandage," Rey mumbles, "Try not to move too much." Poe nods and she starts the process of peeling the ruined bandage slowly from his body, "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Poe tries to meet her gaze but his eyes struggle to adjust in the limited light, "You've already done so much. I don't know how I can thank you." She tightens the new bandage gently around his midsection and doesn't respond, instead she stands and moves across the room, disposing the bloody mess in a bin with a thud. He's still on the floor, but isn't going to complain. Rey is sorting through things on her table, muttering something about "portions".

"So uh," Poe begins, trying to sound casual, "does your family live on Jakku as well, or are you on your own?" He immediately regrets his words as he feels Rey tense from across the space. The girl stuffs a bag with items from the table and grabs a long staff that stands propped up in the corner.

"You should get some sleep," she says dismissively, walking through the door that will lead her down the dark corridor and out of the AT-AT, "I'm going to the outpost to see if I can find you a ride off-planet."

"Isn't it late? Won't that look suspicious?"

"I know what I'm doing." Rey exits the room without another word, shutting the door to the outside with a bang that makes his ears ring.

"And _that's_ how we woo the ladies. Way to go, Dameron." Poe mutters, settling his back against the bed. At first he thinks the position is too uncomfortable to sleep in, but in a matter of moments the exhaustion knocks him out again.

* * *

 

A painful shock rouses FN-2187 from unconsciousness. His eyelids are heavy and his tongue feels like sandpaper in his mouth. He can feel the sunlight harsh and burning on his exposed face and he struggles to open his eyes wide enough to assess his situation.

The world looks like it's on fire, it's too much for him to handle right away. Another shock burns through the armor on his left leg and pulls him back to reality. Squinting hard he's able to make out the image of an orange and white astromech droid, it's small arm is still extended, ready to shock him again.

"Hey," he groans, fighting to sit himself up; something is restricting his movements but he's too out of it to investigate further. The droid makes a frustrated sequence of beeps before pulling out a small welding torch. "What do you think you're doing with that--" Finn is stopped short as whatever was keeping him in place is cut and he rolls sideways into the sand, the wind knocked from his lungs.

The droid gives him another shock, this time on his right arm, stirring him into motion. "Shock me again, Droid, and I'll--" Finn suddenly remembers the crash, the memory of hurtling to the ground replays over and over in his mind. He stands on shaking legs, the ejected Tie-Fighter seat lays lopsided in the sand next to him, its parachute billowing behind it. Poe Dameron's jacket is still clutched in his hand, he can't remember grabbing it. He tries to let go but his fingers won't loosen the grip.

The droid rolls closer to him and beeps sadly at the sight of the jacket- he remembers Poe describing a droid like this during their escape.  "You're BB-8?" Finn asks and the droid beeps in agreement. "Do you know where Poe is?" The droid shakes it's head. From where he stands he can see a thin trail of black smoke in the distance. Without another thought he starts into a run towards what he can only assume is the wreckage. The sand gives way beneath his feet with every stride and his muscles burn with the effort but his pace never slows. BB-8 rolls quickly behind him, beeping excitedly at the possibility of seeing his human again. When the pair arrives at what's left of the starship, Finn's insides turn. The cockpit is almost entirely sunk into the sand, only a twisted wing is left fully visible. The area around the crash is littered with stormtrooper boot-prints traveling out in every direction. Even if Poe had survived the crash, he would have surely been captured by the First Order.

Rage pumps through Finn with each passing moment. He begins to strip the white armor from his body, throwing it as far away from him as he can. BB-8 watches him with interest, careful to avoid getting hit by the chest piece that Finn hurls in his direction. Once he's stripped down to just his long sleeve shirt and thin pants he allows himself to breath normally again.

"Can you get us to the nearest village?" Finn asks, pulling the fighter-pilot's jacket on, "We've got to find some way to get you to the resistance base." The droid beeps in response and begins to roll to the north, Finn following close behind. He steals one last glance behind him and mouths a quick thank you to the pilot, wherever he may be.

* * *

 

Poe can hear Rey pacing in the sand outside the walls of the AT-AT. When she returned from the village earlier that morning she had been distant. Something had happened while she was gone and her unease was making him nervous. The salve she bought in the village was working miracles on his side and Poe is able to sit all the way up in the cot. He stretches his muscles, trying to release the tension in his neck and shoulders. The room looks different than it did when he first arrived; the piles of spare parts that had once covered the floor were mostly gone. The table was tidy, as if Rey had put an effort into cleaning it while he was sleeping. He notices a straw doll on one of the shelves near his head. It's dressed in what looks like a resistance pilot's flight suit. He strains his arm up above him and retrieves the figure, smiling at the familiar uniform.

"How are you feeling," Rey is standing in the doorway and Poe grunts in surprise.

He places the doll on his lap and pulls the sheet he's wrapped himself in away so they can both get a look at the healing wound. "Looks good," he says, confidence returning to his tired voice, "Did you make this?" He gestures to the tiny resistance pilot.

Rey's cheeks flush and she tries to grab the doll away from him but he moves it behind his back where she can't reach. "Give that back," she gasps, "that's private."

Poe can't help but laugh at her serious tone. "You're in luck," he says, preparing to hit her with his signature look, "because you're talking to the best--"

Rey smacks him across the head and steals the doll back before he can finish his sentence, smoothing the wrinkles out of its tiny outfit. Poe shoots her a look of mock hurt and she bursts out laughing. "I'm sorry," she says in between giggles, "that was rude. What were you going to say?"

Poe crosses his arms and looks defiantly away from her, "I don't think I want to tell you anymore." Her laughter only increases at his words. Her mood is infectious and soon they're both laughing, tears streaming down their cheeks. A loud grumble from Poe's stomach interrupts the moment and they sigh in unison. 

"It's been ages since I've laughed like that," the girl says, the ghost of a memory playing across her eyes.

"Feel free to hit me whenever you'd like," Poe says over the angry groaning of his stomach.

"I'm sorry there isn't more food," Rey's expression falls, "I had to trade most of my parts to get the salve, I only had enough left for a half portion."

"I don't know what that means," Poe cautions, unsure of how he should respond.

"I trade parts for food, some are worth more, some are worth less," she retrieves the salve from the table and motions for him to undo the bandage, "We don't really use money here, food and water is worth more." She gently rubs a small scoop of the medicine into his skin, her brows furrowed in concentration.

"Thank you," Poe whispers at a loss for words. He takes the opportunity to study her face, she really is beautiful. She glances up at him quickly, blushing when she notices his eyes on her. Poe is suddenly aware of how close they are, her hand soothing on his abdomen. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying hard to think of something else.

"Did I hurt you?" the girl asks, removing her hands.

"Oh no, you were perfect," Poe responds quickly, careful not to catch her eyes again.

"Okay..." Rey wipes her hands on her pants and collects her bag and staff from the table across the room. "I'm going to go find us some scraps to trade, where did you crash the Tie-Fighter?"

Poe imagines the girl uncovering Finn's body along with the buried ship and his insides twist. "I can't remember which direction I came from." His words sound uneasy despite his effort to remain neutral. Rey narrow's her eyes in his direction.

"Are you sure you're alright?" she asks again, concern darkening her features, "I can stay here a little longer if you'd like." To demonstrate, she drops her bag on the floor and sets the staff on the table.

"Yea," Poe sits up straighter in the bed and pats an open space next to him, "we could maybe-- talk?"

Rey tentatively moves to sit next to him, as if he might take back his invitation at any moment. She settles in next to Poe and leans her back against the wall behind them, her shoulder touching his. The two sit in silence for five whole minutes, neither one knowing what to say.

"So uh," Poe starts, "who talks first? You talk first? I talk first?"

Rey tilts her head so he can see her roll her eyes, "You talk first."

Poe puts his hands behind his head, preparing to hit Rey with his "look" and says, "You're talking to the best fighter-pilot in the Resistance."

She snorts, "Yea, okay, and I'm Darth Vader."

 


	3. Not Yet Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren can sense the pilot is alive on Jakku, and that he's not alone. Feeling the girl's presence after so many years frightens Kylo, but he won't let her distract him from his mission. He has to find Skywalker before Leia Organa, and he'll kill anyone that gets in his way.

Kylo Ren grips the controls of the small construction shuttle until his hands cramp from the exertion. He is dressed in simple clothes, his signature robe and helmet left behind on the _Finalizer._ He can't have anyone recognizing him when he gets to Jakku; the mission must be kept a secret from all but his master if he is to be successful. Frustration ripples through his already tensed shoulders as he remembers the conversation he had with Hux and Phasma the day before. They had been so quick to dismiss his suspicions that the pilot had survived the crash, Phasma insisting that, even if he had survived, her patrol ships would have discovered him before he made it out of the desert. They wanted to focus their resources and efforts on finding the droid instead. He had left the room, unable to contain his anger, and sought the advice of his master. Snoke had agreed that his apprentice's plan was indeed an important one, "There can be no loose ends," his master's voice echoed in his mind. He felt that there was something Snoke was keeping from him but it was not his place to ask questions.

The ship he's using was easy enough to acquire, its previous owner's memory wiped clean of ever seeing Kylo's face. He could have just killed him and been done with it, but the man was a loyal member of the First Order and deserved at least his life.

The control panel beeps at Kylo, alerting him that his ship is nearing the atmosphere of the planet. He closes his eyes and clears his mind, letting the force guide him towards Poe Dameron. He can't get an exact location- something powerful is shutting him out- but he can feel the pilot is hiding somewhere near Niima Outpost. He flips a few switches overhead in the cramped cockpit, and sets the descent coordinates to a relatively abandoned area outside the outpost- far enough out that nobody will notice him land. He's been to this junkyard before, the unwelcome memory threatens to reveal itself, but he's quick to shut it away, somewhere deep enough that not even Snoke can find it. The ship is old and groans with every change in direction and angle- his landing isn't going to be as smooth as he's become accustomed to.

The metal frame rocks back and forth violently. He straps the belt on the seat tighter across his chest and tenses his jaw so he won't bite off his own tongue. He nearly forgets to deploy the landing gear and the ship skids across the earth, kicking up a cloud of dust and sand as it comes to a screeching stop. Kylo curses himself for being so careless, surely someone will have seen him. He quickly unlatches his restraints and powers down the ship, unsure whether it will ever fly again after the botched landing. His saber is heavy and comforting on his belt, concealed beneath the tan shirt he's chosen to wear in lieu of his recognizably black robes- he knows that being seen will only cause him unnecessary trouble. Kylo punches the button to release the hatch door and is immediately assaulted by a thick cloud of dirt. He shields his eyes and mouth and makes his way blindly away from the ship, the sun burning against his exposed skin.

Kylo feels the threat behind him before he's even able to see and ducks just in time to avoid a blaster shot to the head. He quickly reads his surroundings: Three bodies are closing in from different directions, trying to trap him. His hand instinctively reaches toward his belt but he resists the urge to power on the saber and instead runs toward the nearest attacker, avoiding the frantic blaster shots in quick, graceful motions that would make his master proud. The scavenger yells for his companions to help and makes a feeble attempt at escaping, but Kylo is much faster and closes the distance in seconds, all the while dodging the shots of the other two assailants. The move is one he's practiced before; his arm wraps around the smaller man's throat, choking the air from his lungs. The scavenger clutches weakly at Kylo's arm with one hand and tries to reach for his blaster with the other. Kylo flexes his arm, the man's pulse pounding against his bicep, and breaks the man's neck before he can reach the trigger. The terror of the other two men, desperately moving around, feeds Kylo's power. He smiles, sending them visions of their own deaths with the force.

 _Focus..._ His master's voice surprises him, and the smile falls into a determined line. He picks the blaster from the belt of the man beneath him in a quick motion and takes out one of the men, a Kyuzo he thinks, who's launched several feet backward by the impact. The remaining scavenger, a human, stumbles away from the scene, planning to escape on a speeder at the base of the nearby dune. Kylo twitches his fingers in the man's direction, holding him still with a manipulation of the force. He closes the distance between them casually slow, and comes to stand behind his victim, ready to attack.

"Please," the man's strangled voice breaks through Kylo's careful concentration and he momentarily releases his force hold, allowing the man to fall to his knees in front of him. "I have a family," the man adds, his voice thick with defeat. Kylo stands behind him, watching as the weak man's shoulders heave with sobs. Something long suppressed tightens in his chest, he closes his eyes, willing the feeling to pass.

The faces of every man and woman that Kylo's ever killed are dancing behind his eyes, pleading with him to stop. A child from the village where he captured the pilot stands out among the rest. He had given the order to "kill them all", but had turned away before he had to see the carnage. A single tear runs down his cheek.

 _Do it..._ His master's voice whispers through his head. Kylo swallows hard, dries his face with his sleeve, and moves in front of the hunched figure. Standing this close, he can feel the dread of the man before him, it makes his bones ache and he struggles to remember his training. _End this..._ Kylo sucks in a quick breath and lets the panic flow through him, making him stronger, feeding his power, and crushes the man's skull without another thought. Blood mixes with the sand beneath his feet, he stares at his merciless work trying hard to disassociate himself from the emotions that threaten to cripple him.

_You've done well, my boy._

"Thank you, Master," Kylo replies to the voice in his head.

_I will leave you to complete this mission alone._

"But I may need your guidance," he begs, hating himself for his own weakness. Kylo can feel his master pulling away from his mind, like a weight being lifted from his shoulders. He doesn't know what came over him- begging his master to stay like he did as a child. He won't embarrass himself like that again.

The sun sits low in the sky and Kylo decides he wants to reach the outpost before nightfall. He climbs onto the abandoned speeder, and kicks the engine to life, relishing in the grumble that sounds beneath him. He sweeps his hand in a wide arc, using the force to conceal the body next to him under the hot sand. Kylo rides the short distance back to his ship, testing the speeder's handling. The wind whips against his normally covered face- he feels naked without his robes, like the whole galaxy is watching him.

The first man he killed is similar in size to Kylo and he decides to borrow his gear and head coverings. He hops down from the speeder and strips the man of his clothes, careful to keep the creeping feeling of guilt locked away. When he's comfortably concealed beneath his new robes he uses the force to bury the remaining two bodies beneath the sand. He climbs on the speeder and sets off towards the glittering outline of Niima Outpost. A pair of rubber goggles are concealed inside a tiny compartment by one of the handles of the bike and Kylo pulls them over his eyes in a hurry. The memory of riding on the back of a speeder with his father flashes unexpectedly into his thoughts: Kylo had been ten at the time- too young to pilot one on his own- so he rode on the back of the bike, his arms wrapped tight around his father's waist. He scans his brain for remnants of Snoke, afraid that he'll be punished for these thoughts, but his master is nowhere to be found.

Kylo lets his thoughts wander to more forbidden places, unable to stop himself now that he's started. The image of the girl presents itself immediately. It had been over a ten years since he'd left her with Junkar Plott, he thought for sure she would have escaped the planet by now but the closer he gets to the junkyard the harder it is to shake her unmistakable presence from his mind. He makes a promise to himself not to seek her out, he'll need focus if he is to complete this mission quickly.

After an hour of riding he arrives at the junkyard. Niima Outpost looks exactly as Kylo remembers it; he wonders if a single thing has changed in a decade. He parks the speeder near the front gate, not caring if it gets stolen because he no longer needs it. He pulls the cloth that conceals his face tighter and lifts the pair of goggles off of his face, letting them rest across his forehead. Not a single person pays him any attention as he makes his way through the mess of tents at the junk town's center. He blends into the crowd, reading the minds of everyone he passes, searching for a glimpse of the resistance pilot, but nobody he encounters has seen him. Frustrated, he takes a seat at an abandoned work table, closes his eyes, and projects his mind out all around him, feeling the life force of everyone within a miles distance.

His mind pulses with the influx of information, but a sharp stab to his side pulls him out of the meditation. Kylo opens his eyes wide,  prepared for another fight.

An ancient old woman stands near him, holding a wrench in her shaking hand. "Move on, thief," she spits through a toothless grimace, swatting Kylo across the head with her tool. He's confused by the assault before he realizes this must be the woman's home he's taken up residence in. He gives her a bow in apology, not wanting to make a scene, and hurries away before she can call any more attention to him

When he dares a look back he sees the woman's decrepit finger pointed in his direction, and the two men standing in her tent look his way. Kylo sets off in a run before they have time to react, moving through the crowd without touching a single body. He's able to put enough distance between himself and the pursuers that he's sure they've lost sight of him. Kylo ducks under the door of a nearby storage garage, breathing heavy, and hides behind a tall stack of boxes. Peeking around the corner he sees the two men rush by the storage room without stopping, oblivious to his hiding place.

He does a quick scan of the room and discovers he's alone among the empty crates. Sinking down to sit against the cold metal wall, he allows himself a moment to collect his racing thoughts- Kylo had expected this to be an easy mission, he should have found the pilot by now.

"Master, I seek your guidance," Kylo whispers, embarrassed by the sound of his own voice, but feeling lost without the constant encouragement of his mentor. He receives no reply. This was a test and he was failing. He folds his legs and rests his hands on his knees, preparing to meditate. His mind is projected outward as he falls deeper into his own thoughts, sweeping them away until he can find what he's looking for. He can see the force like a web connecting everything and everyone around him and he picks through the strands looking for something familiar. His body quakes with the effort, his concentration beginning to waver, until he finds what he's looking for.

For a moment he sees the world through the pilot's eyes: his body is in pain, he's sitting alone in a small space, testing his sore muscles and attempting to stand on shaky legs. The room is cramped and dark- Kylo focuses on the details of the vision, trying to pinpoint the pilot's location. He hears quiet footsteps, the pilot fumbles his hand through his hair, trying to make himself look decent, before a blinding light enters the room forcing Kylo violently back into his own body. Back in the storage room, he rushes into a standing position, tripping over the discarded boxes, and breathing in quick gasps of air.

It was her. It was the girl.

* * *

 

Poe rakes his hand through his hair, and straightens out the filthy shirt he stole from a basket of rags on the floor before Rey enters the room. Her face is flushed from the sun and she gives him a confused smile before setting down her things on the table.

"You're looking better," she smirks, pretending to busy herself with something in her bag, "How do you feel?"

Poe pushes himself into a standing position, relishing in her surprised expression, and takes a few steps around the small space. "I'm feeling much better, Doctor," he teases, wiggling his hips. Rey gasps with laughter, covering her eyes, her cheeks reddening.

"Please don't do that ever again. Where did you get that shirt?" she asks in a serious tone, fighting the smile that plays at the edge of her lips. Poe points to the basket on the floor. "I use that to clean the speeder--" 

Poe cuts her off by continuing his dance, grabbing her hand and inviting her to join. She pushes him away, embarrassment evident in her expression, but he doesn't stop. He pulls her toward him and twirls her once, twice until her hesitation melts away and she's dancing along with him. He hums, giving them something to move to. His muscles ache, and his legs begin to burn with every step but he doesn't want the moment to end, spinning Rey in circles until they're both dizzy. Too soon the pain in Poe's side screams, and he stumbles forward pulling Rey to the ground with him. She squeals, a beaming smile spreading wide across her face as she lands with a thud next to him. 

"Ouch," Poe is on his back and clutches at his side, "Fuck, sorry about that." He turns his head to look at her, his cheek resting against the floor. She lies in a similar position and meets his gaze, the ghost of laughter still making her eyes shiny. He chuckles softly, "I promise that won't happen the next time we dance."

Rey rolls onto her side, propping herself up on an elbow so she's looking down at him. "Next time?" she asks.

He doesn't know how to respond. Would there really be a next time? Poe can't shake the feeling that something dark is coming for him, for both of them. He doesn't know how much longer he can stay on this planet- he would at least need to send a message to General Organa, to tell her that he survived the attack on the village. Would Rey come with him if he left Jakku?

"Next time," Poe whispers. It's a promise he doesn't know if he can keep. She makes a face like she wants to say something more, but just nods her head.

Rey stands and reaches down to help him up from the ground but he doesn't think he can move. "I need a minute," he groans, poking at the tender skin on his abdomen.

She grabs the salve from the shelf and kneels at his side, lifting up the bandages. "You're bleeding again," she mutters, "I'll have to wrap it again." She rubs the medicine like she's done it a hundred times before, the tentativeness gone from her fingers. "This shirt is going to have to go," she motions for him to sit up, peeling the shirt from his sweaty back inch by inch once he's upright.

"Admit it," he says, his expression mild, "You just want to see me with my shirt off."

She snorts, pretending to be unaffected by his words, but he can see her cheeks darken in the limited light. She pulls the shirt over his head in a sweeping motion, the static friction disheveling his hair, making it fall low on his forehead. He moves to correct it but her hand is already there, raking his curls back into place. Poe closes his eyes, sighing in satisfaction at the feeling. She doesn't pull her hand away, instead she lets it wander down toward his cheek, the pads of her fingers ghosting over the bruises that speckle his face and jaw. Poe sucks in a deep breath as her index finger swipes across his bottom lip like a kiss. Rey pulls her hand back fast and scoots across the floor, putting distance between them.

"I'm sorry, I don't know..." her voice trails off, she's looking around the room frantically, looking in any direction but his own. Poe crawls toward her slowly and takes her face in his hands. She closes her eyes tight, the space between her brows wrinkled with stress. He hates that he's the reason for her anxiety, he doesn't want to see her unhappy. He rubs his thumb at the space above her nose, soothing away the lines until she relaxes to his touch.

Poe can't think clearly over the sound of his heart beating hard against his rib cage. Before he can stop himself, he leans forward and places a kiss on her left eye, and then her right. Rey's mouth opens ever so slightly and he hears her breathing shallow.

"Poe," she gasps, her eyes opening wide, "What are you--" He pushes her backward until she's lying face up on the floor and hovers over her, careful not to let himself touch her. 

"Is this okay?" he asks, his voice ragged and too loud in the small space. Rey stares up at him in confusion but just when he makes a move to roll away from her she grabs him by the biceps. 

She pulls him down so her chest is flush with his, the contact sending a shiver down his spine. He lets his hips fall to rest between her legs and watches with a smile as her eyelids flutter at the pressure. Propping himself up with his elbows, Poe bends his neck down so his face is inches away from Rey's- he breathes her scent in. 

Rey licks her lips beneath him and his blood rushes somewhere lower in his body. Poe lays gentle kisses against her forehead then her neck, moving down to her collarbone before traveling up onto her jaw where he drags his lips across her chin.

The first time their mouths meet his entire body vibrates with electricity, and he grinds his hips against her, aching to get closer. She nips his bottom lip, pulling a deep groan from his throat before tangling her small hands in his messy hair. Rey arches her back up off the ground, pressing her body harder against his and Poe moans, kissing her more thoroughly. He runs his tongue along her upper lip, begging for entrance but suddenly he's being pushed away.

"You're bleeding on me," Rey whispers, her eyes wild but concerned. He pushes himself up on his hands and ventures a glance down between them; her clothes are stained a dark red, his stomach is smeared with blood. He curses under his breath and rolls off of her, onto his back. Rey sits up and begins rummaging in a bin near them on the floor. She pulls what looks like a pillowcase out from beneath a pile of other unseen junk and begins ripping it into long strands.

"Here," she says, pulling him up far enough from the ground so she can sit behind him, "This will help." They sit in silence as she ties the new bandages around him, neither of them sure where to begin. Poe knows he's crossed a line with the kiss, but he doesn't care- Rey matters more to him than the mission now. She ties the ends together in a careful knot and moves backwards until she's sitting against the edge of the bed, Poe's head in her lap. "I found you a ride off-planet," Rey says, breaking the awkward quiet. 

"Hm?" Poe grunts, surprised by the news, "Who?"

"I met him when I was a kid," Rey rubs her hands through his hair, "I don't really know him but-- I know we can trust him."

"Is he with the Republic?"

"No, I don't think he's _with_ anyone."

"Then how do you know we can trust him not to betray me?"

"The same way I knew I could trust you when I found you lying in the sand." Poe's argument evaporates as the words sink in.

"Will you come with me?" he mutters, unsure of whether or not he's said the words out loud. She bends and places a kiss on his forehead, not daring to respond. Poe sighs and nuzzles into her hip, letting himself get lost in his own thoughts. 

 


	4. Last Day on Jakku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren closes in on his target and has an unexpected conversation.  
> Rey plans an escape.

Kylo watches with distaste as Unkar Plutt slides a handful of plastic-wrapped portions to his newest, greedy customer. He's seated at a small work bench, pretending to scrub the grime from a piece of machinery he doesn't know the name of; he's been cleaning the same thing since dawn but thankfully nobody has noticed. The handful of other scavengers at the tables next to his are all too consumed by their own meaningless work to notice the snake in their midst. Kylo glances at Plutt when he hears a customer argue that they had received more portions for that sort of part just this past week. Plutt's only response is to slam the metal screen of the concession stand shut, officially closing for business for the time being. Kylo can't help but smirk, he had only ever met the junkboss one time before but his irritable attitude hasn't seemed to improve in the last decade.

An unexpected wave of nausea washes over him when he remembers the massacre at the Jedi temple. He's spent years suppressing that memory, but it reveals itself in parts in pieces when he lets his guard down. The image of a small boy, chest opened wide and singed by his lightsaber, lying twisted on the rocks in his too-big robes now haunts Kylo's thoughts. He tries to blink the picture away and drops the hunk of metal to the table, earning him a few wary glances from his right. He wonders when the girl will get here.

His borrowed robes have begun to reek, the remnants of their former owners blood mixed with his own nervous sweat are creating a potent combination that makes his eyes water. He longs to pull the cloth from his face and breath some fresh air but the risk of someone, or some _thing,_ recognizing him is too great. To his surprise, the piece of junk he's been scrubbing is actually beginning to look like new, despite his disinterest in the task, and he ponders maybe trading it for something to eat; his stomach feels like its begun to eat him from the inside out. Kylo has been so singularly focused on the task of collecting the pilot that he's neglected his own body, he wonders if he even has enough energy to put up a fight if it comes to that. When Unkar finally opens the screen again, Kylo falls into line behind two junk collectors. He feels ridiculous trading garbage for food like some kind of slave, but he's desperate enough to swallow his embarrassment- just this once.

In what strikes Kylo as a cruel twist of fate, this is the exact moment that the girl arrives on her speeder, dragging a net full of metal scraps behind her. He desperately tries to think of a plan but his nerves are paralyzing him where he stands. He knows that he needs to move and tentatively takes a step out of line, not daring a look back.

"Oh, Kleeiat I was looking for you in town," the voice is painfully familiar and Kylo freezes in place, his eyes shut tight like he can disappear this way. "Hey," the girl says, concerned. Kylo can feel her reaching to put a hand on his shoulder and he spins fast, evading her touch, and comes to stand face to face with her in line.

Rey's face is uncovered, her cheeks are speckled with light freckles, and her lips are set in a tight frown. Kylo sucks in a breath and looks down at the sand between his feet before he can meet her eyes. Kleeiat was the name of the man he killed in the desert, he heard one of the other attackers call it out before he snapped their neck. He could never have imagined that Rey and the man would be friends, it hadn't even crossed his mind when he assumed Kleeiat's identity. He wants to laugh at his own bad luck, but after a quick scan of Rey's thoughts he sees that laughing wasn't something Kleeiat would have done in this situation.

"I'm going away for awhile," Rey mumbles, annoyed by his silence. Kylo tries to remember if Kleeiat had a particular accent, he draws a blank.

A loud thumping noise rouses him from his panicked state. "Next," the voice of Unkar Plutt roars behind him. He's thankful for the interruption and rushes to the window, away from Rey's searching gaze. He passes the piece of metal, now warm from his sweaty palm through the opening."This is worth, five whole portions," Plutt mutters regretfully, sliding Kylo a pile of dehydrated food packs. The small crowd murmurs behind him in apparent amazement at his luck. Kylo doesn't like the extra attention, he quickly grabs the portions in both hands and turns to leave.

"Wait for me," Rey calls at his back. Kylo hesitates, weighing his options. If he continues this interaction with the girl she'll eventually realize that he's not her friend, but if he runs away she'll know for sure that something is wrong.

Plutt's gruff voice calls out behind him, "This haul is worth twenty portions." The crowd collectively gasps, some yell in indignation and jealousy. Rey comes to stand at his side a few moments later, a bucket full to the brim with the little plastic packages clutched to her chest. A proud smile is plastered across her tiny face as she waits for his comment. 

"Good job," Kylo says in a low tone, tensing as he waits for her response.

She beams up at him, "Here," she shovels a handful of her treasure into a tattered pocket on his robes, almost brushing her hand against his concealed lightsaber, "For your family."

"Th-thank you," he stutters, swallowing hard at the thought of what he did to the _real_ Kleeiat's family.

"I'm leaving Jakku," she whispers, leaning in closer to him, "I might not see you again."

"I.." Kylo chokes, unsure of what she wants him to do. She sets the bucket down at their feet and spreads her arms out like she wants to give him a hug but doesn't really know how to. He stands frozen in place, his face under the mask twisted in alarm as she slowly wraps her arms around his torso, her head coming to rest lightly at his chest.

A bubble of crackling energy surrounds them the moment their bodies touch. Rey's mind spills over into his, the assault knocking the air from his lungs, his eyes open painfully wide. He feels her jerk against him, a scared whimper passing through her lips as she slumps against him. He can't find his own thoughts in the ocean of memories and emotions that flood his brain. He can see the last decade of her life like looking at a holo movie, every aching lonely moment played out just for him. He pushes her away, tears streaming down his face, and breaks the contact. Kylo does a quick scan of his surroundings; nobody seems to have noticed the interaction between Rey and himself. She stands hunched over in front of him, her expression vacant. "Fuck," he croaks, pulling her behind a shed so they're out of sight. He tugs the cloth around his face down a few inches so she can see his eyes clearly and takes a deep breath.

"You met your friend Kleeiat near the concession stand," he begins in a deceptively confident tone, "You were happy to see him," she nods slowly, "You got twenty portions and you gave him some to share with his family. Then you said your goodbyes and continued on with your day." He waves his hand across her face, urging her to accept the memory as reality with a manipulation of the force. She nods again, a smile spreading across her face as the influence takes hold. He's not sure how long it will last, her own force energy is strong. Rey notices the bucket of portions in the sand near them and rushes to grab it, never once turning back to look at Kylo, and jogs away from him to her speeder. He's grateful that his master didn't have to witness this weakness within him.

Kylo trails her as she makes her way toward the fueling station on the north side of the outpost. He crouches behind a makeshift fence, watching her speak to some kind of humanoid fish creature with enormous eyes. She passes the bucket of portions to the fish and they exchange some words before she begins to nod frantically in what looks like appreciation. The creature waves her away from him, a smile on its face, and she climbs back on her speeder and heads out of the junkyard, the speeder kicking up a cloud of dust in her wake. He wants to follow her into the desert, to see where she lives, but he has a feeling that she'll be returning to Niima Outpost very soon.

He abandons his hiding place and makes his way to the fuel pumps where the fish creature Rey was speaking to is repairing his small ship. The creature has most of its head inside some sort of control panel on the outer hull of the ship, his webbed fingers work quickly across a series of wires and switches that remind Kylo fleetingly of his father's attempts to teach him the inner workings of the _Millennium Falcon_. He shakes the poisonous thought from his brain and instead works on reading the thoughts of the fish-man. Kylo stands unnoticed only a few meters behind the creature, so close that the thoughts are easy to pick from fish's mind. He groans when he hears the strange language the creature thinks in, and tries to decipher the words quickly before his presence is noticed.

"I feel you in my head," the creature's heavily accented voice echoes from within the recessed control panel. Kylo jumps back, his hand instinctively reaching for the saber at his belt. "No need to resort to violence," the creature sighs, still busied with his repairs. Kylo's veins fill with ice at the presence of a fellow force-user; Rey and his master were the only force-sensitive beings he had encountered since he was a child.

"What is your business with the scavenger girl?" Kylo bites, his senses on high alert for some kind of hidden attack by the fish.

"I think the more important question is," the creature shuts the control panel with a metallic bang and begins to weld it closed with a photon torch that he pulls from his heavy belt, "What is _your_ business with the girl?"

Kylo's anger seethes. "Don't patronize me, beast," he quickly scans their surroundings for onlookers before leaning closer, "It would do you well to cooperate while you still have your life."

"Feeling so much hate from a man so young saddens me," the creature turns to face him for the first time, his bulbous eyes seeing more than Kylo is comfortable with, "it is never too late to change the path that one follows." Kylo can feel the fish spying on his thoughts, trying to anticipate his next move. 

"You know nothing of the path I follow," Kylo averts his gaze, ashamed at his own childish tone.

"I know of the ghost you serve. Snoke," he pauses when he sees Kylo cringe at the sound of his master's name, "As long as you follow something so dark, your true purpose can never be illuminated," the creature takes two steps forward, "I can sense the war that rages in your mind, Kylo Ren." Kylo's body tenses, his hand grips the hilt of his saber in one quick motion, nearly indistinguishable to the average human, but the creature anticipates the move and grabs a hold of Kylo with the force, keeping him motionless.

"Release me," Kylo sputters, the unnatural feeling of paralysis making his stomach turn, "What deal did you make with the girl?"

"Why would I release the man that plans to publicly execute me?" The creature grumbles to himself, pushing Kylo into the open hatch of his ship with a calculated movement of his hand, "Let us have a civilized discussion, and afterwards you can decide whether or not you still want to kill me."

Kylo can't help but snort at the creatures unreasonable confidence in the company of the leader of the Knights of Ren. He has to admit, however, that the creature's strength was unexpected, his body is entirely at the mercy of the fish's every command with the force. The inside of the ship is cramped but well maintained, every possession carefully organized in the recessed shelves lining the metal walls. Kylo is sat on a bench bolted to the wall just inside the hatch door, the shelves behind his head are lined with ancient books whose oppressively musty scent makes his eyes water. The fish punches a button on the wall by his head that starts the door's automatic locking sequence, cutting them off from the harsh sunlight of Jakku and plunging them into relative darkness.

"Sorry about that," the fish mumbles, fumbling for something in the dark. Kylo hears the click of a switch before the room is bathed in dim yellow light

"I'm used to the dark," Kylo growls in a low voice, fighting against his invisible restraints to no avail.

The creature lets out a hearty chuckle, mistaking Kylo's unspoken threat for an attempt at a joke. "That's the spirit, Kylo. We don't have to be enemies here, nobodies watching." He winks, and Kylo shrinks farther inside himself at the thought that this _thing_ can sense Snoke's absence from his mind.

"Those who follow the light will always be my enemy," Kylo spits trying to sound confident despite his situation, but the smile that crosses the creatures face makes his ears burn with embarrassment. He wonders how he could be so weak in comparison with such a lower life-form. "What is your name," Kylo cautions, trying to level the playing field.

The fish opens one of the closets directly opposite from Kylo and pulls out a folded metal chair. He opens it slowly, and sets it about a meter away from Kylo's feet before casually taking a seat. The creatures attitude stirs Kylo's rage dangerously high, but it seems to be unaffected by the dark energy that swirls like a storm inside Kylo's chest. "My name is Mallou," he begins, "and I have traveled this galaxy for hundreds of years in search of meaning." He gestures to the books behind Kylo's head in a sweeping motion. Kylo can feel the force-user's presence at the borders of his mind as he speaks. "I have met many beings, both friendly and unfriendly, and seen things beyond your comprehension." Mallou's face becomes very sad as he says the last words, obviously seeing something in Kylo's memories that disturbs him.

"I have seen things as well," Kylo adds menacingly, allowing Mallou to see the memory of the massacre at the Jedi temple more clearly. He hopes for some kind of response, but the creature just nods in agreement at his words, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

"I am sorry that this has been done to you, my boy," Mallou's expression is honest and open as if he expects Kylo to pour his heart out to a stranger so quickly.

"Nothing was _done to me_ ," he seethes, "I chose this life for myself," he focuses his energy and tries to slice away at Mallou's powerful hold over him, "I will _not_ have some old man assume he knows anything about me. You know _nothing_ ," Kylo's yell sounds awkwardly loud in the small space and for the second time he feels his ears burn.

Mallou stands abruptly from his chair and Kylo is taken aback by his frightening speed. The creatures webbed fingers reach toward Kylo's masked face and begin to unravel the last barrier he has between himself and the outside world. With the coverings removed, Kylo's face is exposed for the first time in days. His hair is dirty and falls limply across his forehead, his cheeks and lips are chapped and broken and Kylo feels an inescapable urge to run his hands over his tender skin, to shield it from Mallou's prying gaze.

"Just as I thought," Mallou whispers, "your face is young and beautiful. It betrays your harsh words." Kylo squeezes his eyes shut, willing himself to be transported anywhere else in the galaxy but here, but he knows his efforts will be wasted. "I can see the girl in your memories, you cared for her once, didn't you?"

"Get out of my head," Kylo pleads, unable to fight the intrusion.

"You seek her companion, the pilot," Mallou speaks to himself, "You are afraid that completing your mission will hurt the girl," the fish takes a seat in his chair, "However, you are more afraid of the punishment you will receive from your _master_ should you fail." Kylo has no argument, he can only sit and listen to the creature reveal his own most inner thoughts. "It is true that the girl made a deal with me," Kylo meets Mallou's searching gaze with interest, "I agreed to take her away from this planet," His expression falls when he continues, "She has only known loneliness and heartbreak, yet her light burns bright," the ghost of a smile pulls at the corner of his lips, "I was powerless to refuse."

"Does she remember me," Kylo's question slips from his mouth before he can stop himself.

"You already know the answer to that question," Mallou urges. Kylo _does_ know the answer to that question, when Rey hugged him earlier he saw the hole where the memories he ripped away so many years ago used to live. Guilt pulls at his gut as he remembers how scared the girl had been when he saved her from the massacre. Taking away her memories was the only thing he could think of to ease her pain. "I have met the girl only once before this day," Mallou adds, "she was much younger then, so lost," he pauses, taking a moment to search Kylo's thoughts before continuing, "She asked me if I knew when her family was coming to get her. I could see the gaps in her memories, she knew nothing of her past."

Kylo wonders if she even knows what the force is, she was so easy to manipulate earlier today. He wonders if he's disconnected her from that part of herself forever.

"You did the right thing," Mallou responds to Kylo's unspoken thoughts, "Even meeting her when she was only a child I could sense she had enormous potential. I made her a promise that day that should she ever wish to leave Jakku, she only needed to ask."

"Did you know the future when you spoke to her? Could you sense that she would need you?" Kylo questions frantically. His composure was crumbling, there was no use hiding anything from a being so powerful. 

"I can sense an infinite amount of futures," Mallou answers, his voice ominously grave, "For example, I can see a hundred different outcomes of this conversation we are having but can only wait and see what happens. Not a single being I have come across in nearly a thousand years has ever had the ability to _truly_ know the future."

"My master can see the future," Kylo adds weakly, hating the uncertainty in his tone.

"Your master only sees the future that he wants to see: the future that promises him ultimate control over the galaxy. He ignores all other possibilities."

Kylo's expression is tortured, he doesn't know what to say.

"Now you are faced with a decision," Kylo looks at him in confusion, unsure if he wants to hear any more, "Do you protect the girl, or do you please your _master_?" Mallou allows him to see the conversation the fish creature had with Rey earlier that day: Rey and the pilot would be meeting him at sundown. Mallou was offering him an escape plan. 

"You speak as if I truly have a choice," Kylo cries, "No matter what I do, I can't protect her from Snoke. I can't even protect myself." He runs a shaky hand through his hair, peeling it away from his sweat-soaked face. The realization hits Kylo like a punch. He isn't held down by the force, he can move again. He wonders how long he's been free.

"I never wished to keep you here by force," Mallou says, his mind somewhere else, "You stayed by your own accord."

"That was a mistake," Kylo says standing to his full height, "Now you're going to die."

"If this is the day that I am destined to die, then so be it." Mallou leans back in his chair and closes his eyes without another word.

Kylo grabs the lightsaber from his belt and powers it on, the purr of the blade offers him some much needed familiarity. The red crackles widely as he raises the saber over his shoulder, its ominous light illuminating Mallou's serene expression. An image of Rey enters his mind, she's only a kid but her eyes are old. She sits next to Mallou watching the people of Jakku go about their day, she's chewing on some kind of candy that Mallou has just handed her, they're speaking about her family.

Mallou is sending him the memory as a last ditch effort.

He lets out a cry as he brings down the blade.


	5. Destination Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and BB-8 escape Jakku aboard a cargo ship.

Finn crouches low to the grated floor, his eyes fixated on the only entrance and exit to the cargo bay. He and BB-8 had climbed aboard the ship unnoticed, but Finn wouldn't be satisfied until he felt the rumble of the engines. He's surrounded on all sides by massive hoofed creatures, their thick hair concealing him well against the far wall. Even if someone were to check for hitchhikers, he'd be safe for at least a little while. BB-8 beeps nervously as the foot of one of the banthas comes dangerously close to stepping on the small droid. "Be careful," Finn whispers, his voice urgent. He knows that he'll be lost without the droid, and he'd already made a promise to his dead friend that he would see that BB-8 made it safely to the resistance base. Where ever that may be. "I hope you know what you're doing," he mutters towards the droid- who had led them onto the ship in the first place. The droid beeps angrily at him and he can't help but roll his eyes. Why couldn't he have just stayed on the _Finalizer_? He may not have agreed with his former commanders' methods, but at least he had had a job and a place to sleep. Oh, and food to eat.

At the last thought his stomach growls loudly in agreement, earning him a concerned "moo" from the creature next to him. "You too?" he asks eyeing the bantha's uncharacteristically slim appearance. He does a quick scan of the room, careful not to lift his head up any higher than he has to. There's a trough of some kind of feed only about ten feet away from where he's hidden. "I'll be right back," he whispers to BB-8 before slipping his way through the crowd of cattle and making a beeline for the food. The smell isn't great, but he can't tell if it's the lumpy grain or the room itself that stinks so he decides to take his chances. With two handfuls of feed, he makes his way back to the droid and resumes his crouched position against the wall. BB-8 seems to give him a disappointed look as he shovels chunks of grain into his mouth. If he was honest, it definitely isn't his proudest moment, but the relief it brings his aching stomach is entirely worth it. He elbows the bantha next to him, getting its attention.

"Here you go, buddy," he says, offering the second handful of food to the starving animal. It eats sloppily from his hand, the thick drool traveling down his outstretched arm. "Oh, come on," Finn groans, the bizarre feeling causes him to shudder in disgust, but the appreciative eyes of the creature make him smile nonetheless. He pats its head and slumps back against the cool wall behind him, unsure of how long he'll have to rest before they land and he'll have to worry about escaping the ship unseen. BB-8 rolls next to him, and anchors itself to the wall to Finn's right with some sort of mechanical claw that shoots itself from a concealed compartment in the droid. "Hey, that's pretty handy," Finn mumbles, genuinely curious how many other tricks the little guy has up his sleeves. BB-8 beeps happily at the compliment before settling itself in for the ride.

The ship's engines roar to life beneath him, their low vibrations shake the metal floor causing a collective worried sound from the cattle. Finn thanks the stars that the ship is finally taking off; it would be too late for the merchants to eject him, even if they did discover his hiding place- unless of course they send him out the trash shoot. The image of his cold lifeless body hurtling through space has him shivering in the hot room. At least he won't be dying on Jakku.

Finn sighs, resting his head on the wall and allows his eyes to close. He thinks back to the moment he made the choice to save the pilot, he had been so nervous, it went against everything he had ever been conditioned to think. Maybe it was the fear of the impending punishment that had made his decision so easy. After the brief meeting with Phasma, it was clear he'd be sent to reconditioning. He wanted to think he made the decision to leave the First Order for more honorable reasons, but the truth was, he was scared. He's still scared. There's still a chance that, even after making it to the Resistance base with BB-8, he'll be imprisoned, or worse executed for his prior allegiances. Finn wants to believe that an organization so devoted to bringing peace to the galaxy can't be so cold, but he has no information to reassure him. Everything that he knows about the Resistance comes from the mouths of people dead set on destroying it. His heart begins to pound inside his chest as his thoughts shift to his escape with Poe Dameron. The time that passed between when he collected the pilot and when they crashed on Jakku was probably only about fifteen minutes at most, but it seemed to stretch on for days in his memories. He remembers every facial expression the pilot had made, every word of their conversation was etched into his brain. It was the first time he had ever been so excited. Finn had felt happier the moment they were free from the _Finalizer_ than he had ever felt in his entire life as a stormtrooper. That had to mean something. A sinking feeling settles in his gut when he remembers waking up from the crash, how the burning Tie-Fighter had already sunk so far into the sand by the time he had got there.

Finn shakes his head, gently ridding himself of the painful images, and pulls the jacket he wears tighter around his body. He imagines that the pilot's spirit lives on inside the leather and fabric. Maybe it would give him the strength he needs to complete this mission. With his heart beat slowly calming down, Finn drops into an uneasy sleep.

**

Finn wakes to a familiar shock to his leg and opens his eyes to see BB-8's tiny robot arm pushed into the side of his pants. "Ouch," Finn whispers harshly- though he's already used to the pain, it still leaves an uncomfortable tingling feeling on his skin. A loud thump across the room brings him to full alertness, and BB-8 beeps nervously at his side. The roar of the engines is surprisingly absent and Finn curses himself for sleeping through the ship's landing. The large hatch door on the opposite side of the cargo bay begins to open with a screeching noise that makes Finn's skin crawl. The animals grow restless at the sound and Finn capitalizes on the commotion to plan his escape. There is only one exit but if he can keep himself and BB-8 near the center of the herd of banthas he might be able to make it out the door without anyone noticing. He motions for the droid to follow him deeper into the crowd of animals and once he's situated, he waits anxiously as the door slowly makes its way open. Judging by what he can see from where he's crouched, there isn't much light outside. If it's nighttime on what ever planet they're on, it will make slipping away much easier.

A loud bell sounds over a hidden speaker system and the banthas hurry out the door all at once, as though the entire process was choreographed before-hand. Finn rushes to keep up with the pounding steps of the beasts. When BB-8 begins to fall behind in the frenzy, Finn hoists the heavy droid into his arms, protecting it from damage. The banthas are being lead into an enormous corral in what looked like a busy space port. Towering ships surround them on all sides and in the distance Finn can see the glittering lights of a large city. It's easier than Finn had expected to break out of the enclosure- the fence was only built to keep the towering beasts inside and he's easily able to slip underneath with BB-8.

Finn sets the droid on the pavement a few hundred yards away from the cargo ships and pulls the collar of the jacket up higher on his neck before blending seamlessly into the the mess of crowd bustling through the port. Most of the people around him are speaking languages he doesn't recognize, and he begins to feel overwhelmed in such an unfamiliar place. BB-8 breaks away from the crowd and rolls towards a large steel building to their right, stopping only briefly to wait for Finn to catch up.

"Do you know where we are?" Finn asks excitedly. The droid beeps out a yes and Finn feels as though he should bend down and give it a hug. As if in anticipation of Finn's thoughts BB-8 begins to roll away faster than before, forcing Finn to jog to keep up. The droid rolls down a nondescript street that runs parallel to the building, stopping in front of a heavy door before beeping in frustration at Finn's slow pace behind him. "Where are you taking me?" Finn asks, suddenly concerned for BB-8's unreliable directions so far. The droid knocks against the door, motioning for Finn to let them both in. "Guess I've got nothing to lose," he sighs, pushing the steel door out of the way.

The sight Finn is greeted with takes his breath away. The building has only one floor and a high ceiling that seems to go on forever. Every square inch of the floor-space is occupied by a tent, some even suspended high in the air. The sound of conversation is deafening and he struggles to identify the hundreds of creatures that cross his path. "This is amazing," he breathes, letting his eyes wander. BB-8 beeps below him and begins to roll farther into the room. Finn follows the droid the best he can, but the pathways between the tents are cramped and he starts to fall behind. He makes it to a clearing between a group of vendors and searches desperately for his companion but the bodies are too packed together to get a good look. Finn runs his hands down his face in frustration and makes his way towards a bar on the far left of the room. He doesn't have any money but hopes they'll at least give him some water. At the thought of water Finns throat burns in anticipation and he quickens his pace.

The bar is small and bustling with people. The walls behind the counter are littered with neon signs advertising liquor that Finn's never even heard of before. He fights with a creature with a long truck-like nose for one of the few remaining stools, but after seeing the desperation in Finn's eyes the creature concedes the seat. Now that his territory has been claimed he waves to the bartender, a humanoid creature with six arms. The bartender glances disinterestedly in his direction before continuing a conversation with one of the other patrons. Finn waves again with more intensity this time, but the bartender ignores his efforts. "Oh, come  _on_ ," he yells, resting his head in his hands. He feels so lost here, like these people can tell he doesn't belong with them. If he can't convince a bartender to get him a drink, how is he going to convince the Resistance to give him shelter? His eyes burn as tears threaten to spill over his cheeks.

A voice to his right startles him out of his daze, "Hey kid, you alright?" Finn's spirits rise immediately at hearing Basic- he can't remember the last conversation he had in his own language. He lifts his face from his cupped hands and eyes the man who spoke to him. The man is human and seems to be around sixty years old. His clothes seem well-traveled and his face is kind despite his sly expression.

"I don't know where I am," Finn replies truthfully. The older man seems to consider Finn's words carefully for some kind of hidden meaning but after a moment he just shrugs and waves over the bartender. To Finn's annoyance, the six armed man walks over quickly to take the older man's order, smiling a polite smile. Finn motions between himself and the bartender in disbelief, angry that he had been ignored.

"I'll have a Correlian Ale," the older man starts and turns his head to look at Finn expectantly, "And my friend here will have a..."

"Apple juice," Finn says in a hurry. The older man snorts at his reply, the corners of his mouth turning up.

"My friend will also have a Correlian Ale," the man says, giving Finn a light punch on his shoulder.

The bartender shakes his head in Finn's direction before getting started on the drinks. Finn's cheek's burn in embarrassment; he feels like a child again. The older man sits in silence until their drinks are served then turns in his stool to face Finn.

"So where are you from?" the older man asks, taking a long gulp of his drink.

"I-I'm not from here," Finn stutters, unsure whether it's safe to reveal anything to this stranger.

The man chuckles and runs a hand through his hair in a practiced motion, "I _know_ you're not from here, kid, I want to know where you're coming from."

"I can't tell you that."

"Fair enough," the older man lifts his hands in a sign of surrender, "let's try something easier. What's your name?"

"FN-2187." The words are out before he has time to think and he claps a hand across his mouth. The older man's face is expressionless, revealing nothing to the now terrified Finn. He gulps down the untouched drink in front of him, trying to calm his racing pulse, and prepares himself to run if need be. The older man keeps his eyes on Finn's, and calmly finishes his drink before speaking again. 

"How long have you been away from the First Order," the man's voice is low enough that even Finn struggles to hear him.

Finn tries to quickly formulate a plan but can't think under the scrutinizing gaze of the older man. "About three days," he answers truthfully, unable to come up with a better story.

"Where were you stationed?"

"I was deployed on the star-destroyer, _Finalizer,"_ Finn's whispers. He feels like he might suffocate. The older man nods, his expression distant for a few moments before coming back to focus on him.

"Where are you headed?" the older man's voice has lost some of its edge, but it does nothing to calm Finn's nerves.

"The Resistance base," Finn chokes out, wishing BB-8 were with him. He winces when the older man raises his hand, as if he might strike him, but the man simply waves the bartender back over and tells him to put the drinks on his tab.

"Trust me kid, that's the last place you want to go," the older man rumbles after a few moments.

"I have to go, it's my mission," Finn says, his tone defensive.

"Oh, so you have a _mission_ now," the man laughs a humorless laugh, a sad expression crossing his face, "Listen, I can tell you from personal experience that nothing good comes of these wars. Get out while you still can." With that the older man stands from his stool and turns to leave the bar.

"Wait," Finn begs, "Please, can you help me?" The old man stops, but doesn't turn back. "I'm traveling with a droid, it's carrying-" Finn is cut off by a familiar beeping noise as BB-8 emerges from the crowd outside the bar and rolls to Finn's feet. A bubble of relief wells up in Finn's chest and he restrains himself from embracing the droid in front of so many onlookers.

The older man turns around slowly to look at Finn and BB-8, a look of ghostly recognition etched on his tired face. "BB-8?" the man questions. His eyes fixate on Finn's jacket, and he takes a shaky breath, "Where's Poe?" BB-8 makes a sad tone in response and hangs its round head in defeat.

"You knew him," Finn asks, the blood rushing from his head, "You knew Poe Dameron?"

The old man rushes forward and grabs Finn by his shoulders, keeping him upright, "Yea I knew him, where _is he_?"

"He's," Finn's vision swims, "He's gone." The old man drops his hands from Finn's shoulders. His eyes look wet but Finn decides he's imagining it; he needs to sit down or he'll pass out. The old man puts an arm under Finn's and leads him out of the bar and then out of the building, huffing when Finn puts too much weight against him.

"Come on, kid, pull yourself together," he groans, looking back to make sure the droid is still following close behind. Finn tries to calm himself down but the panic he's been suppressing for three days is now pumping through his veins. He begins to shake and the old man grunts when he pulls them both down on the ground. "Great," the old man's voice sounds far away.

Finn thinks he's hallucinating when a massive hairy creature picks him up from the ground and carries him to a waiting ship. The creatures brown fur is soft against Finn's face but its crossbow cuts into Finn's side uncomfortably. He's dropped onto a cot in the ship and the old man from earlier is yelling into a com link near his head. He struggles to hear what the man is saying.

"No, I want somebody to come pick them up," the old man's voice cuts through Finn's hazy thoughts, "I am _not_ going back there."

The static of the com crackles out a reply: _General, I'm sorry but we have no personnel in that sector qualified for this kind of transport. If you would prefer to speak to General Organa on this matter, I can set up a holo-feed with her in ten minutes._

"NO," the old man blurts out, "that, uh, won't be necessary, I'll make the drop," he runs a hand through his hair, "Oh and Trayhold," he pauses.

_Yes sir?_

"Don't call me 'General'." Finn can see him shake his head.

_Yes sir, Mr. Solo. We'll expect your entry into our airspace at nine tomorrow morning._

"Yea, whatever you say." the old man punches a button, ending the com then begins a start up sequence for the ship. Finn lays back on the cot and lets his exhaustion pull him under.


	6. Out of Orbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Kylo have their reunion.

Something was very wrong. Poe had never been the kind of guy to base his decisions on a 'bad feeling' but as he got closer to the center of Niima Outpost with Rey tense beside him, he had the distinct feeling that something was very wrong. They had made most of the journey on Rey's speeder bike, but the last bit they'd have to make on foot- Rey said they would draw less attention this way.

Walking is making the hole in his side pulse, the bandage had come away with thick black blood the last time Poe checked on it but he had hidden that fact from Rey- it would be a less painful trip back to the base if she wasn't worrying over him the entire time.

The outpost was relatively busy for the time of night, and they've been stopped more than once by creatures wanting to speak to Rey about helping them out with one thing or another. She's being polite so far, promising to speak with them about it in the morning- a lie- and Poe has kept his eyes glued to the ground to avoid making any unnecessary eye-contact. His top half is wrapped in the sheet from Rey's cot, she wound it around him in a way that left enough fabric at the top to form a makeshift hood. He's glad for the additional barrier between himself and the wandering gazes of the men around him.

"How much farther," Poe whispers, so low that he can barely hear it himself.

"It's the third ship in from the right," Rey mumbles, gesturing discreetly toward a row of starships a hundred meters in front of them. Poe pulls the hood farther over his face, willing the universe to let this whole thing go smoothly. The anxious energy from before intensifies the closer they get to the ship. Poe stops in his tracks and grabs Rey's hand before she can walk ahead of him.

"Do you feel that?" Poe says, searching Rey's confused expression. She shakes her head and gives his hand a tug in the direction of the ship, willing him forward without making a scene. "Rey, I have this feeling like--"

"Stop," She cuts him off, "We have to move. People are looking." Rey urges him on and he falls back into step with her. A quick scan of his surroundings confirms Rey's suspicions- they were in-fact being watched. Poe's hand is still clasped around Rey's and he gives it a squeeze. To his relief they make it to the ship without being stalled by any locals again, but standing so close to the machine Poe can't shake the overwhelming urge to grab Rey and run.

"I don't think we should go inside," Poe hisses, "Are you sure that--"

"Stop worrying, Mallou is a friend." Rey pulls her hand away from his.

"Yes, but--"

Rey knocks on the hatch door, making him swallow his next words in worry. There's no reply. Poe shakes his head when she raises her fist to knock again, a creature that looks like some kind of bug from Poe's home planet is leaning his head out of the next ship down the line, watching them. She knocks anyway.

"Mallou," Rey's voice is too loud, "Are you there?" They both jump when the hatch door opens with a screech of weathered metal. Rey turns to look at him with a smug smile, and Poe tries to smile back. The bug returns to his ship, no longer interested in eavesdropping.

The first thing that hits him is the smell- something like rot. Poe has smelled something similar in a place his mom had called a 'library' back home. Mixed in with the familiar smell, however, was something acrid and vaguely metallic. Rey pulls him up the walkway and into the body of the ship. Small recessed lights in the ceiling bathe the walls in eery yellow light. There looks to only be one large open space with a kitchen, two cots, and a pilot's chair. The only thing hidden from view is the bathroom, which Poe presumes is what lies behind a thick curtain on the right side of the room.

The pilots chair is occupied by an alien creature; his back is turned toward Poe, but he can tell by the dimpled green skin that Mallou isn't human. Rey punches a button on the wall and the hatch closes behind them, trapping them inside. She leaves Poe standing by the entrance and drops her bag and staff on a bench bolted to the wall. Poe cringes at the sound and shuffles his feet, still uneasy. Rey moves to stand next to Mallou- who hasn't said a word of greeting since they've arrived- and makes an amused face.

"I think he's asleep," she whispers, rolling her eyes, "I'll wake him up." Poe's stomach drops and he waves his hands in warning.

"Who let us inside?" He chokes on the words.

Poe's knocked off his feet and thrown against the wall of the ship. His head knocks hard against a shelf on his way down and for a moment he loses his vision. He can hear Rey's panicked words but can't sort them out in his brain.

"Poe-- what-- are--," Rey's voice is coming in clearer but he still can't see, "Who are you?"

Poe groans, fighting his body's insistence on passing out. He pulls himself up to a seated position using the edge of the bench near his head and rubs at his eyes until he can focus.

Rey is still standing by the pilot's chair, but her face is terrified. She's looking toward the right side of the room where a tall figure leans casually against the wall. It looks like a human, probably a man judging by the enormous frame, but his head and face are concealed behind a thick layer of wrappings similar to the ones that Rey sometime's wears.

"You're friend should remember me," the voice is unmistakable, even without the filter, "We never finished our conversation, Poe Dameron." Kylo spits the words, a barely contained rage hiding just beneath the surface of his calm exterior. Poe can't believe that _he_ actually followed him down to this planet. They needed to escape before he had time to hurt Rey, but Poe struggled to even make it to his feet. Rey seems frozen in place where she stands, she's staring wide-eyed at the Sith Lord like she wants to say something.

"Kleeiat?" Rey's question is a whisper. Poe doesn't know what this means and he silently urges her not to continue but she ignores his insistent stare.

"Dead," Kylo mutters, waving his hand like the whole situation is too tedious. Rey claps a hand over her mouth and her eyes scrunch up like she's going to cry. Poe wants nothing more than to grab her and run but he knows they won't make it far. Rey's hand falls away a second later and reveals a steely look that Poe wasn't expecting.

"Show me your face," Rey barks, her eyes flitting briefly in Poe's direction before returning to their captor's. Poe tenses, expecting this to be a trigger for Kylo, but to his amazement the Sith nods and begins to unravel the tan cloth from his cheeks. While Kylo's occupied, Rey motions toward Mallou's body and gives Poe a thumbs up. Mallou is alive? No, he couldn't be, Kylo Ren would never leave a loose end like that. Poe doesn't know what the gesture means but the look in Rey's eyes gives him a brief spark of hope. Both he and Rey look back at Kylo in the same moment- just as the mask is fully removed- and Poe sucks in a breath at the sight of the man's face.

"Ben?" Poe can't believe what he's seeing. There were rumors that the General's son had betrayed the Republic, but Leia never spoke of it and he'd always been too polite to ask. The last time he saw Ben they were both just children, General Solo had invited Poe to their home hoping he would get along with the brooding boy long enough to make friends. Though Ben's obviously grown immensely, there was no mistaking that face.

Kylo Ren visibly cringes at the sound of the name and a sick sort of dread pools in Poe's stomach as he realizes the mistake he's just made.

"How do you know that name," Kylo yells, the words ringing against the metal walls. Poe flinches and motions for Rey to stay where she is when she takes a cautious step toward him. Poe wonders if Kylo recognized him during the torture- there was no way he could have dug as far into Poe's mind without revealing the General's face once or twice.

"You don't remember me?" Poe keeps his voice low and soothing despite his rapid heartbeat. Kylo sneers in response and holds a hand out in Poe's direction. He only has a second to process the motion before an invisible force closes around his throat, constricting his airways almost completely. Rey screams and runs toward them but Kylo lazily lifts his other hand and stops her in her tracks.

"You don't know me," Kylo snarls, "That _boy_ is gone," Poe's face is getting puffy with blood and his lungs are beginning to spasm, "You're coming with me, and this trash," he thrusts the arm holding Rey forward and propels her into the back of the pilot's chair, "She can stay on this godless planet for now." Rey crumples to the metal floor, her knees hitting the floor with a painful thud. The the pilot's seat swivels in a circle behind her- empty.

A folded metal chair comes down hard on Kylo's head, knocking him forward until he's forced to release Poe or risk falling face first to the ground. The air rushes into Poe's lungs fast and he clutches at his bruised neck, eyes searching for their savior. The chair comes down again and this time Kylo doesn't remain upright. The Sith staggers to the ground, revealing a very shaky Mallou behind him, the chair still gripped tight in the creatures long-fingered hands.

"Start the engines," Mallou sputters in Rey's direction, his enormous eyes blinking rapidly, "And you, help me move him," Mallou motions to Kylo's unconscious form, "We've got to leave the system now, he may have already sent our coordinates to the First Order." Poe nods weakly and moves to grab Kylo's legs while Mallou punches the button on the wall to open the hatch door again.

The two men struggle to drag the Sith's enormous weight through the small opening and down the lowered walkway. Poe can hear the ship roaring to life beside them and makes sure Kylo's body is clear from the thrusters so they don't incinerate him on take-off. Mallou is staggering into the ship and Poe wraps his arm around the creature's back, helping him cross the small space, and lowers him into the pilot's seat that Rey has just vacated.

"Close the hatch, Boy," Mallou pants in a thick alien accent, his fingers doing quick work over the intricate control panel, "Rey, get the med kit- it's in the cabinet above the sink."

Poe rushes to the far wall and presses the button hard, willing the door to close faster than the sluggish pace it's at now. He can see Kylo stirring in the sand, and he meets the Sith's eyes just as the door hisses shut.

"We've got to hurry," Poe yells, "Kylo's waking up." The ship lurches forward, sending Poe stumbling into a set of shelves- he fumbles to keep the carefully placed items from tumbling to the ground. They were taking off now, he can see Rey sorting through something in the bathroom- she looks unharmed. Poe limps to stand behind Mallou at the front of the ship and watches mesmerized as the creature types in dozens of sets of coordinates in less than a minute. Rey returns from the bathroom clutching a box full to the brim with medical supplies.

"Are you injured?" Poe asks, inspecting the pilot for any obvious wounds. They have already left the planet's surface and are ascending through the clouds.

"No," Mallou flips a switch and the ship hums as it shifts to auto-pilot, "But _you_ certainly are," Rey is standing nervously by his side, the hand holding the med kit shaking slightly, "How you're still standing is a miracle."

As if on cue Poe's insides twist and he barely has enough time to make it to the bathroom before he heaves the contents of his stomach. The ache he's been ignoring in his side is burning and persistent. Poe cautiously lifts the hem of his shirt and bites his lip hard at the sight of thick black blood oozing from the wound.

"Rey I don't think--" Poe passes out next to the toilet.

 


	7. A Convincing Tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn arrives at the Rebel base with Han and Chewbacca where he must argue his case to the General.

The ship lurches as it enters D'Quar's atmosphere, rousing Finn from his panicked stream of thoughts. Mr. Solo and Chewbacca are at the front of the ship, allowing Finn a brief moment of privacy before he's handed off to the Resistance. He had gone over his plan a million times in the short journey to the base but no matter how many times he practices the meeting with the General, he can't find the right words. How was he supposed to convince the Resistance of his innocence with no proof?

Finn knows that, if the tables were turned, the First Order would execute any suspected Resistance member the moment they were deemed no longer useful. BB-8 rolls to where Finn is fidgeting on the bench and makes a series of encouraging beeping noises. Finn gives the droid a pat on the head, grateful that he has at least one ally in this whole mess. "Do you think they'll execute me?" Finn asks the droid, keeping his voice low so the old man can't hear him. BB-8 makes one long questioning beep that Finn had no idea how to interpret. He wishes he was chosen to do some sort of mechanical work on the Finalizer so he could have learned to speak binary. Finn sits back in the bench and covers his face with his sweaty hands. He wishes he could be anywhere but on this ship, maybe even Jakku. Well, maybe not Jakku.

"Hey Kid," Finn is startled by the old man's voice, "you ready for your big day?" Mr. Solo is standing in the entranceway leading to the front of the ship. His words seem casual but Finn can sense a different sort of energy just below the surface. The old man didn't want to be here either, maybe even less than Finn did if that was at all possible.

"I'm ready to tell my story, I'm just worried the Resistance isn't ready to hear it," Finn mumbles, covering his face with his hands again.

"I know you probably don't know a lot of history outside of the propaganda the First Order feeds you," the old man chuckles to himself, "but your story doesn't even come close to what I've seen in a lifetime." Finn lets his hands drop heavy on his lap and meets the old man's eyes, surprised when he sees the sadness hidden there.

"Mr. Solo, I just want to say before we land," Finn stands up from the bench, "that I appreciate everything you've done for me. I know you could have left me-"

"Spare me Kid, I didn't just do it for you," Mr. Solo throws a flask he pulls from his jacket pocket, Finn just barely catches it, "There are bigger things happening in this galaxy, much bigger than you and I." The old man smirks at Finn's dumbstruck expression before turning away and taking his seat back in the cockpit next to Chewbacca.

Finn can feel the landing gear opening at the bottom of the ship, they'll be on the ground in just a couple minutes. He opens the flask the old man threw him and takes a precautionary sniff. The liquid inside is dark and smells like floor cleaner, but he takes a few gulps anyway, desperate to calm his nerves... by the time the ship lands, Finn's head is swirling and his body feels light, like he might float away at any second. He knows he's made a mistake when he tries to stand and promptly falls to the ground. Mr. Solo finds him on his hands and knees with BB-8 rolling nervously next to him.

"You don't look so good," the old man says, picking the now half empty flask off the floor and giving it a shake, "Wow, I'm impressed Kid, even I can't down that much in one sitting," he hoists Finn up off the ground just as a knock sounds on the hatch door, "I'm going to teach you a thing or two about self control if you survive this whole thing." Finn tries to focus on the old man's face but has to give up before he risks emptying his stomach on Mr. Solo's jacket. Chewbacca emerges from the front of the ship and punches the button to open the hatch, eyeing Finn's slumped form. The trio is greeted by a four armed guards and a well-dressed man that Mr. Solo acknowledges by the name Trayhold.

"I hope your journey was peaceful," Trayhold says, his eyes moving between Mr. Solo and Finn.

"Oh yea, it was a blast," the old man mutters, handing Finn off to Chewbacca and straightening out his jacket and pants, "Can we get this over with, I have other places to be."

Trayhold motions for them to follow, "Right this way, the General is waiting in the command room." Finn is amazed at how casual the encounter has been so far- this is definitely not how his superiors have acted when faced with a possible prisoner of war. He'd be cuffed and beaten in a cell by now.

The Resistance base is built into a valley of green, grassy hills. The air smells like plants and humidity- two things Finn has had very little exposure to. There are people milling about everywhere, some climbing into X-wings and others doing maintenance on various machinery. There doesn't seem to be an structure or order to it all. Finn's head is beginning to clear up when the group takes an abrupt turn into one of the larger buildings on the base. They travel down a set of stairs and instantly the air is cool and crisp. More than once Mr. Solo and Chewbacca are greeted by people in passing who look at them like they're both some kind of celebrity. The old man brushes past without a word, but Chewbacca nods his head in greeting.

Trayhold leads them into a large room filled with screens and a controls, and the guards are told to stay outside. Finn is vibrating by the time the General approaches them, the alcohol still making his thoughts run together.

"You must be Finn," the General says, surprising Finn with her lighthearted tone, "I've been hearing so much about you." Finn can tell that she's eyeing Poe's jacket but her face doesn't betray any emotion he should worry about.

"Yes, it's an honor to meet you ma'm," Finn replies, his words strained by the immense lump in his throat, "Mr. Solo was very kind to bring me here." The General's attention moves from Finn to the old man behind him for a brief second.

"I'm sure he was very happy to make the journey," she mutters, running a hand through her immaculate hair, "Has Poe Dameron been captured?" Finn is taken off guard by the change in topic. He hadn't given much thought as to how he should break the news to the General, he has no idea how close the two were.

"Poe is-" the General raises a hand to stop him.

"You don't have to explain, I sense the answer," she takes a seat at one of the command chairs behind her, "Finn, I know you've come here to state your case as a defector of the First Order, but I can see that we don't have to waste our time questioning you." Finn's stomach drops at the words, he looks behind him to Mr. Solo, hoping to get some reassurance, but the old man is staring at his boots, lost in his own thoughts. He hopes she doesn't mean what he thinks she means, he hasn't given her any reason to doubt him. Can she sense something in him that even he can't see inside of him?

"I- I don't understand ma'm, I only wish to join your Resistance, I-"

"I want you to be on my advisory board," she pauses when Finn lets out a sound of utter confusion, "Who better to advise me on the inner workings of the First Order, than an ex-stormtrooper." Finn doesn't know how to respond to the General's words, she hadn't even asked him what his qualifications are. He wasn't an important person in the First Order, he had only been on a single combat mission and hadn't even fired his blaster. He wants to tell her all of this but the old man's hand coming to rest on his shoulder distracts him.

"Say yes, Kid," Mr. Solo grumbles, his gaze locked with the Generals over Finn's shoulder. Finn can feel the tense energy between the two and he wonders where it's coming from. He has the urge to give them some privacy but the General stands from her seat, breaking the spell.

"So Finn, what do you say?" the General asks, her eyes shiny despite a neutral expression. 

"It would be an honor, I don't know how helpful I'll be seeing as though I worked as a-" The General cuts him off for the second time.

"You can tell me after you've had something to eat, right now I have some business with your companions," she gives him a tight smile which he immediately returns, "Trayhold," she says, bringing her attention to the well dressed man, "can you bring Finn to his new quarters? I'm sure he's had a long journey and would like to take a hot shower." Finn's ears perk up at the mention of a shower. Just as Trayhold is about to lead him from the room, a crackling message sounds from a com that makes everyone stop in their tracks.

 

_This is Black Leader. I repeat, this is Black Leader. I am in need of immediate extraction. I repeat I am in need of immediate extraction._

The General rushes to a com link panel, punching a button to open communications. 

"Black Leader, this is General Organa, what is your location?" For a second the link seems to break and there's only silence on the other end. 

_Good to hear your voice General, I'm sending the coordinates now. My mission was a failure, the map is still on Jakku, in the care of my astromech droid._

"Are you alone?" 

_No ma'm, I was injured in a Tie-Fighter crash on Jakku and a local woman saved my life. We are en route to a safe location with a friend of hers. I really shouldn't say any more over an unsecured line, General._

"I understand, we will send a rescue party immediately. Are you being pursued?"

_Copy that General. We are being pursued by Kylo Ren, I don't know what sort of vehicle he will be in, but alert the rescue party to be on alert._

_"_ May the Force be with you Poe." 

_Thank you ma'm, I'll be home soon._

Finn's heart stops beating.

"Poe?" 


End file.
